What I Have Become
by Simply Kim
Summary: *Ch4* At times like this, Hibari didn’t know what to do with his hands. His pride didn’t want him to cling to the source of this heat… The traitorous part of him that was steadily growing for more than ten long years...
1. Story 01: What I Have Become

**TITLE:** What I Have Become

**PART:** One of One

**AUTHOR:** Simply Kim

**WORD COUNT: **1,235

**CHARACTERS:** Gokudera Hayato. Fuuta. Lambo. Hibari Kyouya. Dino Cavallone. Mentions of Sawada Tsunayoshi, I-pin, Yamamoto Takeshi and Gokudera's mother.

**GENRE:** TYL/Angst/Drama/ (A bit of) Humour

**DISCLAIMER/S:** I do not own "Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn!" This is merely a product of my weird imagination… XD

**NOTE#1:** **Blah **or _**Blah **_is for emphasis. _**/Blah/**_is for conversations over the phone or flashbacks (if any). _/Blah/_ is for the conscience or whatever inner voice there is talking. _Blah _is for thoughts or random Japanese words.

* * *

**WHAT I HAVE BECOME**

* * *

He had been a lot of things in his entire lifetime, but never had he prepared himself to become the same person he had always hated.

A father.

It wasn't as if he had gotten some loose girl pregnant, after all he had never engaged in extramarital affairs with women since he graduated in high school. It made him too deprived, but he had reasons he needed not divulge to others.

Even the Tenth.

Fifteen years ago, he had never thought he would be in charge of the most irritating creature alive. One who seemed to sprout horns even as he laughed boisterously, the booming sound chafing angrily against his nerves. The one who loved crying, trying to get everything he wanted through tears.

"Are you alright, Hayato-san?"

Surprised, Gokudera Hayato snapped out of his reverie and gave an almost inconspicuous smile at the one who had done the same thing he did - care for that one person, standing guard and lending a helping hand when he was out...

… Which was often.

Never mind.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I'm fine."

Soft laughter permeated his ears and upon reflex, he frowned. "What?"

Fuuta grinned up at him, eyes shining with the knowledge that he was not feeling the least bit peachy. "You look like you're going to have a major breakdown."

"I'm not breaking down." He declared through gritted teeth, his voice rising, earning him questioning looks from people surrounding him. "I'm just weirded out by the fact that this is being held here in Namimori-chuu –"

"What's wrong with the school?" A defiant voice sounded calmly behind him, and sweat beaded his brow. _Shit!_ He thought, wincing inwardly.

Just what he needed, another problem. Slowly, he turned around, composing himself even as Fuuta took a small step backward, partly hiding behind him.

_Fuck. And now I'm a damn wall..._

"Hibari." He greeted in the most level tone he could muster. It wasn't as if he was afraid of this man. He just didn't like unnecessary trouble, now that he was in the middle of one of the most important days of his life... "I –"

"Ah, there you are, Kyouya!"

If the tension wasn't so high, if the guy standing oh-so-solemnly before him now was not The Hibari Kyouya of Mafioso Nightmares, he would have laughed. He could practically see the hairs at the back of the other man's neck bristle at the mere mention of his name.

For all the bumps on the forehead the imbecilic Lawn-Head had, he knew the second thing Hibari hated most was hearing his name being enunciated with blatant familiarity. And aside from Sasagawa Ryouhei who never seemed to have learned his lesson up to this day, there was the head of the Cavallone Family.

"Fucchan! Hayato-kun, hello there! Feeling the age yet?"

Dino Cavallone… and the Spirit of the Mountain – whatever its name was.

Hibari's nerves were even more frazzled as the older man threw a casual arm around his shoulders. "Show some respect." Came the scathing response. "Or I'll bite you to death."

For the life of him, Gokudera couldn't understand why and how the two kept seeing each other all these years. He couldn't even understand how Hibari, of all people, could care for the child Dino had with some girl a year before they got together… being such a possessive person and all.

But it was there. Plain and simple. For everyone to see.

They weren't even hiding it.

_Unlike me._ He thought irritably. _All because that sword-swinging retard –_

"Yes, yes, I know, love. Sorry. But you see, I'm really used to calling people by their first names. I was raised that way."

Gokudera sighed, walking away as the two lapsed into their own world. He could sense Fuuta tagging along behind him, and he silently wondered why he had become what he had become.

_A wall that protects…_

He finally settled near the one whom had been the focal point of all of today's inward litanies. Fuuta was now poking him, pushing him closer to the other who, surprised, laughed aloud and hugged him tightly. "Hayato-_nii_! You're finally here!"

"Not so loud, you stupid cow…"

_A brother who's always present… _

"It's funny, Lambo-kun! He has been here all this time, hiding in the middle pew, hoping you wouldn't see him," Fuuta laughed. "But thanks to Hibari-san he moved here!"

"Damn recluse loves this school so much; it's crazy… as if I could do anything against that 'bite you to death' attitude…" He muttered, casting a particularly evil glance at the Cloud Guardian's direction – of which the two sniggered over.

_A friend who understands…_

"Oh, come on, Hayato-_nii_, don't be like that! You're too special not be a part of this, you know!" Lambo grinned, closing one eye in supplication. "Besides, who would fill your shoes, eh?"

"The Tenth would be better-suited for this…" Gokudera muttered. "I hate formal occasions…"

"Eh? The Vongola?" The Lightning Guardian said incredulously. "No, he took care of me only for a while – and I was really young then too. You're the one who took me in! You and Fucchan."

"Why not Fuuta?"

"Well, first of all, because you're the one who taught me a lot of things… second, you put food on the table so we never went hungry…" Lambo ticked each reason off with his fingers. "Third you had a lot of patience in me – although you always scream in my ear, but that doesn't matter anymore. Eh. You helped me become a better person – trained me and stuff!"

Gokudera was quiet for a moment, digesting everything he had just heard. His words sounded as if he was describing his own father. It made his heart ache and worry cloud his heart. Were they the only qualities fathers should possess? Was there anything more?

Because to him, they sounded so… material.

"Oh, and you know what else, Hayato-_nii_?"

He turned back to Lambo, whose eyes were shining with warmth. "What?" He croaked.

The younger boy smiled affectionately, eyes radiating so much filial emotion it was hard to turn away. He had never seen such from anyone but his long-deceased mother.

"Whenever I was sick, I felt your hands and they were gentle. I knew I was tons hotter than you were, but for some strange reason, their temperature exceeded mine. And every single time, I felt like it was alright to die and I would still be happy."

Something lodged in his throat and he couldn't speak. Slowly, he nodded his head and gave him a small sincere smile.

_A father who loves his children._

And as the orchestra started playing, as he stood beside Lambo who was gripping his sleeve anxiously, he felt like he had just fulfilled his purpose. With thoughtful eyes, he scanned the crowd sitting quietly, looking back to where the arched doorway was.

She was there, walking slowly, progressively, towards where he stood, face hidden behind a virginal veil of lace. As she took every step, Lambo's fingers gripped his sleeve even harder until he was sure it was in danger of ripping.

And soon, he was guiding her and Lambo to the altar, leaning close for a second as he whispered the words he never thought he would be able to utter in his entire lifetime, given the situation he had placed himself in.

"Take care of my stupid son, I-pin."

* * *

**ENDE**

* * *

**A/N:** Reviews are greatly appreciated. :)


	2. Story 02: Left Behind

**TITLE:** Left Behind

**PART:** Drabble - One of One

**AUTHOR:** Simply Kim

**WORD COUNT: **396

**CHARACTERS:** Reborn. Colonnello. Mentions of Lambo and I-pin.

**GENRE:** TYL/Angst/Drama

**DISCLAIMER/S:** I do not own "Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn!" This is merely a product of my weird imagination… XD

**NOTE#1: **This is a companion fic to "What I have Become".

**NOTE#2:** **Blah **or _**Blah **_is for emphasis. _**/Blah/**_is for conversations over the phone or flashbacks (if any). _/Blah/_ is for the conscience or whatever inner voice there is talking. _Blah _is for thoughts or random Japanese words.

* * *

**LEFT BEHIND**

* * *

The moment the orchestra started playing, Reborn knew he lost.

He watched in the shadows, eyes drinking in every detail of that white tuxedo, the neatly combed wavy hair and the brilliant smile. Even from afar, he could see a different man – someone whom he didn't know existed.

Or perhaps he knew but didn't take notice because his pride was in the way.

He couldn't believe he would lose to someone whom he considered beneath him in all aspects.

The one who cried when he wouldn't acknowledge…

… The one who threw tantrums when he didn't take his bait.

He pressed awkward fingers against the bridge of his nose, pinching it. He felt tired and lifeless, and he didn't like it. The fingers of his other hand twitched, aching to hold on to something, and throw that something – preferably one that explodes – towards that openly smitten face he had just now, begun to hate.

"Why so glum, chum?"

A vein ticked in his brow as he struggled to find his centre. _Another annoyance._ He thought hatefully, taking a deep cleansing breath as he turned away to face his newfound nemesis. "Colonnello." He muttered. "What are you doing here?"

"Same thing you're doing – attending Lambo-kun's wedding, what else?" The blonde, tall and seemingly imposing in his fancy formal wear, grinned mischievously, eyes gleaming with something Reborn couldn't quite place. "You _**did**_ get that red lacy invitation, right?"

He sighed, nodding his head slightly in irritation. "Yes. Stupid card made me think it was Valentines." He muttered bitterly. "Could've picked a better colour."

A small measure of silence stretched between them, and for some strange reason, the energetic Colonnello was keeping an awkward distance from him. For all Reborn knew, the trigger-happy guy was –

Pain erupted in his chest, so intense that it rivalled the collective suffering he had taking bullets all his life.

A small chuckle escaped his lips.

Wry.

Bitter.

"I'm going to kill you." He grated out, slipping his hands in his coat pockets. "Stop that."

Colonnello remained silent as the tension thickened further. And finally, after a few moments, he spoke. "Went too far, didn't it? The game you were playing with him."

Reborn didn't come here for a psychiatry session.

Giving the ongoing ceremony a last, long glance, he turned and walked away.

He didn't want to see the pity in Colonnello's eyes.

* * *

**OWARI**

* * *

**A/N:** Feedbacks are greatly appreciated! :)


	3. Story 03: Encumbrance

**TITLE:** Encumbrance

**PART:** Drabble - One of One

**AUTHOR:** Simply Kim

**WORD COUNT: **796

**CHARACTERS:** Yamamoto Takeshi. Mukuro Rokudo. Mentions of Gokudera Hayato, Reborn, Dino Cavallone, Hibari Kyouya and Lambo Bovino.

**GENRE:** TYL/Angst/Drama

**DISCLAIMER/S:** I do not own "Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn!" This is merely a product of my weird imagination… XD

**NOTE#1: **This is a companion fic to "What I have Become" and "Left Behind".

**NOTE#2:** **Blah **or _**Blah **_is for emphasis. _**/Blah/**_is for conversations over the phone or flashbacks (if any). _/Blah/_ is for the conscience or whatever inner voice there is talking. _Blah _is for thoughts or random Japanese words.

* * *

**ENCUMBRANCE**

* * *

"Must've felt good, huh?"

"What?"

"Actually doing it inside your own body."

"Not really… I think possessing Hibari-kun's bird would be more exciting."

He stared at Mukuro incredulously. "You're really weird, you know that?" Sighing, he shook his head. "Besides, it's not as if you can do that again. When Hibari learned about it last time, he almost killed you, you know."

Mukuro snickered. "_Kufufu_…" He went, raking his bangs away from his eyes as he struggled to keep them open. "That's the beauty of it, Yamamoto-kun." He drawled, tucking errant strands of hair behind his ear. "I like seeing him bristling with fury. It's not fair that Old Man Cavallone is the only one who gets under his skin all the time…"

Yamamoto Takeshi groaned. "You know, if my hands were any cleaner, I'd probably just plug my ears with my fingers." With vigorous motions, he wiped his hands against his coat, wincing at the thought of another Armani ruined. "Just fill my mind with perverted thoughts, why don't you?"

"I try." The Mist Guardian laughed; the sound tinkling down his spine. "Besides, it's quite fun. Try it sometime."

"Whatever. Come on, we're gonna be late." He muttered, rolling his eyes as he walked on ahead.

"Aww, and here I am, just starting to feel all sunny and happy and gay…"

Yamamoto cast him a withering glance. "You already are, so hop on to it. Tsuna's waiting."

"More like, your boy-toy's waiting." Mukuro blinked his eyes dramatically and sighed, pulling out a pristine white handkerchief from his coat pocket and wiping the dripping wetness from his forehead. "Ugh. I hate formal occasions after doing these things. It stifles my overflowing contentment."

"Hibari's coming too."

"Ooh, okay – I'm there!"

He could only sigh in response, sheathing his sword in one sweeping motion, taking note of the dull sound it made.

He needed to clean it later.

But now, he must hurry.

Yamamoto broke into a run towards the main exit of the Oumi-gumi mansion, careful not to step on drenched wooden splinters and strewn limbs. He winced as he heard a fresh squelch and a gushing sound behind him. He didn't need to look back – he knew Mukuro was doing it on purpose.

It was frightening how much the guy learned through possession.

**OxxxOxxxO**

And it was frightening, how much he knew of the current situation when all he did was take a good long look.

"Ah, such perpetual rays of sunshine…" Mukuro drawled behind him the moment they came through Namimori-chuu's auditorium side doors. "Your boy-toy's nervous, I can see."

Yamamoto cast him a sidelong glance, irritated at the sight of the mischievous smile on the other man's face. "He's not my boy-toy." He hissed, frowning. "He's my friend."

Reborn was walking all too calmly away from Colonnello, Dino was holding his hands up high in surrender to a furious Hibari way out back… and Gokudera was red-cheeked, fidgeting nervously, standing close to Lambo who was, for the first time in ages, seemed to be the one trying to calm him down.

_He doesn't like standing in front of a crowd in formal ceremonies. _He mused, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. _If only I can be there to hold his hand freely… it wouldn't be so bad, would it?_

Mukuro rolled his eyes and tucked strands of dark hair behind an ear. Yamamoto was close to telling him he looked like a mecha anime antagonist, but decided against it for fear that he would beat up someone, possess that someone and start a killing spree just to spite him. "Who are you kidding, little swordsman?" He grinned slyly. "After seeing all those hickeys on our Gokudera-kun's nape every morning, who wouldn't know that you're doing him?"

"I didn't make them." He retorted, anxious to get him off his case. "Doesn't have anything to do with me." Pointedly, he ignored him and was about to take another step inside when Mukuro's next words rendered him immobile. _How did he know? Is he spying on us?_

"Oh really? So, he sleeps around, huh? Hmmm… that's nice. I've always wanted to know how it would feel like making sweet, sweet love to him…"

As if on cue, the orchestra played, loud and vibrant… and for him, angry.

Cold sweat dripped from his temples. "Stop talking about him like that." He grated out. Slowly, he turned to Mukuro, glaring as darkly as the latter sneered meaningfully at him. "Gokudera isn't –"

The Mist Guardian raised his brows, knowing what he started and where this discussion was heading. "Isn't what?"

_He isn't like that…_

For the first time in his life, Yamamoto didn't know what to say.

All he knew was how it felt like, digging his own grave.

* * *

**OWARI**

* * *

**A/N: **Feedbacks are greatly appreciated! :)


	4. Story 04: In Pursuit of Happiness

**TITLE:** In Pursuit of Happiness

**PART:** Drabble - One of One

**AUTHOR:** Simply Kim

**WORD COUNT: **1,253

**CHARACTERS: **Dino Cavallone. Hibari Kyouya. Mukuro Rokudo. Sawada Tsunayoshi. Mentions of Gokudera Hayato, Lambo and I-Pin.

**GENRE:** TYL AU/Angst/Drama

**DISCLAIMER/S:** I do not own "Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn!" This is merely a product of my weird imagination… XD

**NOTE#1: **This is a companion fic to "What I Have Become", "Left Behind" and "Encumbrance".

**NOTE#2:** **Blah **or _**Blah **_is for emphasis. _**/Blah/**_is for conversations over the phone or flashbacks (if any). _/Blah/_ is for the conscience or whatever inner voice there is talking. _Blah _is for thoughts or random Japanese words.

* * *

**IN PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS**

* * *

It wasn't as if he didn't care what the occasion was. He just didn't like crowds. But for today, because he was outnumbered, he complied.

The invitation was pretty after all.

He sighed. He had gotten clear of the wedding vows thing. But why did he even have to be in the reception?

This was ridiculous.

"How are the lovey-doveys faring? Still having fun after ten lo~ng years?"

He flinched.

He didn't need to turn around to know who it was. His brows met at the centre of his forehead, morphing into a frown. "What are you doing here?" He asked petulantly. If there was one thing he hated, it was duking it out in a verbal spat with "The One Who Is Not There".

Damn Gokudera and his name-calling. Now he was picking it up too. He was going to make his displeasure known next time, he swore. _I'm going to bite him to death._

"Tsk, tsk." The response was coy and irritatingly meaningful. "Don't you guys ever get _**bored**_?"

He was about to snap when a calming hand touched his shoulder. He didn't have to turn to know whom it belonged to either. The frown eased off his forehead… but didn't fade entirely.

"Not at all, Rokudo… I trust the business deal with the Oumi group has been closed?"

Mukuro Rokudo snickered, the sound seemingly a mockery directed at him. He gritted his teeth in an effort to keep calm. "Old Man Cavallone." He acknowledged, to which Dino, the head of the third family, nodded casually.

_I'm going to kill him. _He thought irritably. There was a semblance of reverence in the tone Mukuro used to address Dino. And it was something he felt was unsettling. It was something he couldn't understand about the man. How come he wasn't getting the respect he wanted from him? Was it because he was also the same age? "It was _**taken care of, **_if that's what you're asking. They didn't want to comply so… Hmm, and Yamamoto-kun didn't get in my way. So generally speaking, it went well."

There was that singular humming in his veins at the thought of 'dealing with' the Oumi. They owed the Vongola a huge amount of debt after all. They gave them a second chance to pay up without lost limbs and they had the audacity to trample Namimori-chuu's grounds. That and they opened fire at his loyal assistant Kusakabe a week ago. Such warranted severe punishment. For him, the whole matter became personal.

A small sound of contentment fell from his lips, and was followed by a short moment of silence before Dino finally spoke, an amused smile playing on his lips. "No doubt you enjoyed it." He quipped wryly.

The Mist Guardian flipped his hair airily and grinned. "Of course! How could I not?" Then, he turned to him and raised his brows impishly. "How come you're not as accommodating as Dino here, hmm…? Hibari-kun?"

Hibari Kyouya glared at him, his ire doubling as he saw the derisive glint in his eyes. "I'm talking to you, what do you expect?" He sniped.

He could hear Dino chuckling and could feel the hand on his shoulder squeeze soothingly. It made him calm down. _Just a little. Maybe._

"Come on now, Rokudo, Kyou~ya… this is Little Lambo's day. No fighting."

He wanted to claw the amusement out of his voice. "Shut up." He muttered, infuriated. "I'm going to kill him. Right now."

"No, Kyou~ya you can't –"

"_**Hii!**_ Don't fight! Hibari-san, Mukuro-san!"

It was the unmistakeable command of the family head and he froze. Slowly, he let his muscles relax and he straightened. With precise movements, he collapsed his tonfas and slipped them into the hidden compartment of his suit's sleeves. With a sniff of derision, he simply turned and walked away, brushing shoulders with the surprised Sawada Tsunayoshi.

He could hear Dino saying something resembling a sheepish apology behind him, as well as Mukuro's sniggering – and inwardly, his pride cried out in protest. Why did he have to pick up after him anyway? It wasn't as if he was the one in the wrong.

_But no doubt, it took away the feeling of unease. _His scowl dissolved. It was a great wonder how he could last in a specific with Mukuro around. It had been ten long years too – no, even more, since they first met.

And they were both still alive.

Maybe, subconsciously, he didn't… well, he didn't hate him that much.

"Kyou~ya… wait." His feet immediately stopped and his body involuntarily twisted, turning around, and as if it was the most natural thing in the world, _**waited**_.

Dino gazed at him, amusement shining in his eyes. "Ahaha – you walk really fast!"

"And you walk really slowly." Hibari's eyes narrowed. "Rokudo is right in calling you Old Man Cavallone."

"Hey, I can be fast if I really want to, you know!" He grinned cheekily. "In fact, I can out-walk you any day!"

The urge to smite him was there, but somehow, it was quelled with the mere touch of skin. Dino's hand was caressing his cheek. It felt warm. And the warmth from there was spreading throughout his body.

At times like this, he didn't know what to do with his hands. His pride didn't want him to cling to the source of this heat… but something inside him begged to do just that. The traitorous part of him that was steadily growing for more than ten long years… and is now in danger of engulfing even his own pride and common sense.

He was not the young high school delinquent-slash-enforcer anymore. He was part of a major organisation and he had a vast array of resources at his disposal. He helped build this closely knit-group, not by associating and mingling with them but by crushing those who attempted to destroy it.

Touch was not something unusual to him.

He closed his eyes. _But this is different…_

He once thought that this feeling stemmed from inexperience. But he was constantly proven wrong every time Dino did this. Ten long years of staying together with this man, taking care of his child from a forced marriage, staying beside him through the entire process of divorce, staying in one roof … one room… and one bed.

The past him would label this kind of relationship as unnecessary and bothersome… maybe even storm away never to return – after knocking the older man's teeth out of his mouth. But the present him, he knew, though would be able to live without it, would feel terribly empty at even the smallest notion of not being part of it.

He sighed and opened his eyes, blinking once at the sight of those familiar kind eyes. "What?" He demanded quietly.

But Dino only shook his head, smiling. Then, with a sudden movement, he grasped Hibari's hand and pulled.

He felt himself being dragged along and called glared at the back of the unruly mop of blond hair. "I'm not going downstairs. Unhand me." He protested, trying to break away.

He could hear the older man laugh. "Oh c'mon, Kyou~ya… we need to go down and congratulate Lambo and I-pin!"

"But –" He sputtered, dragging his heels.

"Besides – were going to miss tasting the yummy cake!"

He glared even more. "Stop thinking with your stomach, idiot!"

Hibari swore that if the cake didn't taste phenomenal, he was going to make sure Dino is locked out of the bedroom for a good long week.

* * *

**ENDE**

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** Feedbacks are greatly appreciated! :)**  
**


End file.
